It All Depends on the Big Red Foam Cowboy Hat: The Power of Objects, Stories and Rituals
The great Maya Angelou said, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” As an educator, making sure my students are okay, guides everything else that I do. In the Fall of 2020, I was assigned to teach online. For me, this was new territory. The expectations higher than the stay-at-home orders from the Spring of 2020. As a collective, educators knew we had to make every learning situation work. I found myself teaching an online class of fourth graders, some I met previously in passing, the rest coming from two separate schools, in general this was a fresh experience for all of us. I was handed the class profile, a collage of pictures, fresh faced students, photos already a year old. Would they still be this eager? Most teachers hear the adage – no smiling before December. I have never subscribed to this. Besides whom can wait until December to build a relationship? I wanted the students to feel noticed and cared for. I wondered, do the same tools from in person teaching apply to an online learning situation? How do you build this relationship on screen?
On the first day, as the students popped on, revealing themselves on webcam, I saw tiny eager faces waiting for an adventure. How could I keep them engaged? Motivated? Many websites declare, “here are some fun lessons to engage students in all curriculum areas”. However, from all my years of teaching it is not just an engaging task, but an engaging person that keeps students returning to school. This attachment to the teacher forms over the early weeks when students are remembering their prior year and wondering if they can trust that you will connect with them too. Teachers are in the same situation; will these students trust and respond to me like the last group? Can I successfully keep all these students with me? What will it take for me to engage and motivate them? Self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) suggests that individuals are motivated to act based on how they experience three conditions – autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Relatedness refers to the need to be cared for and care for others. As an educator, in person or online, you can specifically enhance relatedness through, three actions – the power of objects, the power of story and the power of ritual.
The Power of Objects
“That’s a big hat!”
An oversized foam cowboy hat, emblazoned with a Texas star, sat on my head. A novelty item, carried lovingly across the Canadian border, by colleagues, attending an ASCD conference in San Antonio. This hat, meant to be a consolation prize for missing a trip, ended up being my best conversation starter, a fan favorite on Hat Day and a general way to gain instant attention at school. On this day, we happened to be talking about immigration. One of my students announced that he was originally from Texas. I responded, “Texas, did I ever show you all my hat from Texas!” On pops the hat, the students laugh and say, “that’s a big hat!” Often, it is those little-big things that make all the difference-changing mood, increasing focus and sustaining attention- in an instant. In the classroom, we bring in objects for kids to study – we let them use objects as they learn – and objects to create magic. Objects ground us in the moment, they keep us going- the special desk of the day where a student does their best work, the glitter glue that keeps a student committed to a challenging art project or a special book that sets students on a reading journey for life.
The Power of Stories
“Thunder? No that’s just dinosaurs running past the house.”
A storm had descended during the morning, making a typical day of online school, darker than normal. “Do you want to see how dark it is, inside my house?” Physically, my students were in three corners of the city. The weather became increasingly distracting, the lightning, the thunder and the impossibly fast winds. “I heard the thunder, Mrs. Clark.” Not seeing all their faces on screen, I was not sure how all my students were feeling. Not being physically in proximity to reassure them, I was hoping to distract them through story. “Did I ever tell you about the time, my own kids heard thunder. They asked what it was, and I said, ‘Oh, just some dinosaurs running past the house.’ As I expanded on the story, I mentioned that it was not the best thing to tell them and they would not settle, so we made hotdogs. The students laughed either from the dinosaurs or making hot dogs for no reason. Yet at the end of the story, the storm was less scary and diminished before long. It is story that connects us all. There is always a story that can connect everyone and get them talking. It is about sharing and building commonalities. In addition to personal stories, I often use the news to connect and relate to each other. This past year there seemed to be several stories of animals in evergreen trees, trees that were destined for Time’s Square or the living room of a family home. Students mentioned their own tree stories, about their own pets climbing trees. Stories calm us, settle us down, and prepare our minds for the difficult learning. It is akin to getting all students minds in one direction to move forward together.
The Power of Rituals
“He must be skiing in Jasper.”
Attendance tends to waver online. Students’ login and you hope that they stay within ears reach. In our class, sometimes a student would not respond to my question “Good morning, (name) are you here?”, and I would say, “(name) must be skiing in Jasper.” Imagining nine-year-old ditching class for a trip to the mountains, became the answer to everything, even as the weather turned warm for Spring. It was these common jokes and rituals that brought our class together. A consistent humorous phrase bringing some lightness to an otherwise challenging Pandemic, one in which some of my students were not ever leaving their homes. You build relationship through humor, through – through lines. This happens in person school too, common ways of greeting, songs that are sung and games that are played. It is the ‘way our class celebrates this’. Online, one of our rituals was – show and tell or otherwise called, “Mrs. Clark, can I show you something?” students showing their pets, their younger siblings, and their snacks. In the end, we related as a group because of the opportunities to bring ourselves and our connections to predictable situations and events. We cannot forget the human framework to learning situations. Yes, we have so much content to get through in day, but we cannot get there if we all feel like we sit in separate corners, silos, or web screens. Homrich-Knieling (2019) mentions that his daily check ins has led to students feeling connected, supported, and comfortable in class. If we take some time to check in, the rest of the learning can move faster – essentially – slowing down, in order to speed up.
Conclusion
Relatedness – through the power of objects, stories, and rituals. We must continue to engage with our students and with whatever relatedness tools that foster connection and community. That angler fish that appears on a California beach, talk about it. It might be the topic that finally brings a student out of their own separateness. A famous sandwich making its way around the internet- made of a pickle top and bottom. Who wants to eat it? It’s surprising what a big “dill” that random topic can be. We discover as educators that in person or online – students can be reached. It is through the power of objects, the power of story and the power of ritual that connect us. On the last day of school, I challenged my students to a “How Well Did You Know Our Class” quiz. Hotly anticipated, the quiz was full of references to the year, such as the sledding incident (a student took us outside with their iPad to demonstrate their sledding techniques), the sounds heard while teaching online (animals snoring, toilets flushing, power drills) and of course the homemade – garbage bag costume competition. As the last few minutes edged towards the end of our final online class, students began to show all their faces on the webcam, many for the first time in a while. I knew this would be an emotional day, maybe even more so online than in person. Four students remained online, long after the official year ended. I looked at all of them, wondering what to do, I knew they would be happy to stay on for some time. If it does not end there is no need for goodbye. One student broke the silence, “Mrs. Clark, I don’t know if my eyes are wet because I have been staring at the screen too long, or because I am sad.” Then he paused, smiled slightly, and said, “maybe both.” This ending, though sad in some ways, erased any concern I had about online teaching, we persevered together. We were always in different physical spaces but somehow, we ended connected, related, emotionally as one. It honestly cannot get any better than that.
References
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self- determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11, 227-268.
Homrich-Knieling, M. (2019). From Rapport to Relationships: Shifting our Practice from Classroom Management to Community. Voices from the Middle, 27(1), 58-61.
Note: This article was cross-posted on LinkedIn.
